So, I obviously had no plans to make any resolutions this year. Then I stumbled across this quote, posted by a friend on Facebook: “A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams reality.” - Greg S. Reid
I immediately realised that I’d been doing resolutions all wrong. They’re not promises. They’re not wishes you make on the first star you see on New Year’s Eve. They’re plans you make and it doesn’t particularly matter when you make them. What matters is that you commit to them in a meaningful way, with steps and deadlines to which you hold yourself accountable.
With that in mind, I’m going to give New Year’s resolutions one more try. Here are three things I’ll be aiming for in 2016:
1. Taking care of myself FIRST.It’s not that I haven’t long known the importance of self-care, or that I want to martyr myself for motherhood. It’s that, in the day to day rush to keep everything together, somehow, I always end up on the bottom of my priority list. And yes, I pretty much accepted that this might be necessary, at least until my daughter gets a little bigger. Until, that is, I happened to watch this video featuring Jada Pinkett-Smith, her daughter Willow and her mother Adrienne Banfield-Jones. If you have 6 minutes, 22 seconds to spare, it’s REALLY worth a watch:
As the saying goes: “You cannot serve from an empty vessel”. Instead of looking at it as being selfish, I’ve decided to look at it as giving to myself so that I can give to the people I love. My first step in that direction was to start working out on a regular basis and I can’t tell you how much better I feel physically and emotionally since I began.
2. Commit to my business in a meaningful way.
I changed career paths a few years ago in order to create a lifestyle that would accommodate a child and then again a couple of years ago in order to spend more time with my daughter. However, before I slowed things down, I was doing pretty well in a fast-paced field and could see myself climbing the proverbial corporate ladder. In fact, the connections I made during that time are what have allowed me to pick and choose the projects I work on now.
Unfortunately, in my somewhat single-minded focus on nurturing my daughter, I’ve let things slide a bit on the business end. I don’t regret the choice, as my now two-year-old is healthy, happy and learning non-stop. Still, now that she’s a bit bigger, I’m ready to step back into my career a bit. I still want to be there to help her learn the rest of her colours, but this year, I’ll be taking on more challenging projects that will continue to build my skills.
3. Potty-Train the Boss Lady
Don’t laugh, I’m serious! My daughter has been showing signs of readiness since she was at least a year and a half old, but I’ve been dragging my feet because damned if potty-training isn’t intimidating! ABCs and 123s are one thing, but the stress that comes with learning bladder control is a whole other mess (pardon the pun). The thing is, as she does know her ABCs and is capable of counting to 20, it might just be time to start looking into preschools and they won’t take her unless she’s out of pampers, so I guess it’s time for me to stop being such a punk.
To that end, she now has a potty and toilet seat of her own and I’ve been regularly encouraging her to use them. She does, too, which would indicate that she’s just been waiting for her mom to get it together.
Those are the goals I’m aiming for in 2016. Since I’ve already started working on them all in one way or another, I think I might actually be in a position to tell you about a whole new list when it’s time to step into 2017.
Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Tell us what yours are in the comments below!
Calisa is the exhausted mother of an energetic, (generally) good-natured and ridiculously sharp toddler whose sole mission in life is obviously to keep mommy on her toes. She spends much of her time reading board books, changing diapers and saying “Ah-ah-ah! Mommy said ‘NO’!” while counting down the hours to bedtime.
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